Major Headway (4 Months)

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I was telling Ali the other day that I can’t believe we’ve been parents a whole 4 months. We both agreed that it seems longer than that. While we can’t pinpoint why it feels longer than it actually is, we’d probably agree that it is because we’ve done so many things with Kara since she’s entered our lives.

Obviously, there are the major events such as sending Kara off to her first day of daycare, seeing her be wild and crazy at her Little Gym classes, and watching her get to know her new family at gatherings. But there are countless daily moments that seem new each time we do it, like when we do shower time, blow bubbles in the backyard, and have dinner.

The laughter, the frustration, the joy, and the struggles all remind us that this little girl is developing so amazingly fast.

We haven’t had much time to look back, but most recently, Ali came in contact with another parent in the international adoption forum in Yahoo! Groups and made a wonderful discovery. Unlike our experience, this parent was able to actually visit the interior of the orphanage and see, first hand, how these abandoned children were cared for and lived.

While perusing her Facebook page, Ali found a picture that featured a familiar face!

Unlike the other kids, this cute little girl on the right with the pink sweater seems more interested in (or concerned with) the picture taker.

This picture was taken in November, 2011, two months before we went to Shanghai.

Each time I look at this picture, it breaks my heart to see Kara and the other kids looking on as one of their friends is plucked away for a new life. I can only wonder what is going on in each of their minds as they see their friends come and go. Do they wonder or even recognize that a new and different life awaits them outside the sheltered walls of the orphanage? Do they even know that each of them are without but deserve the full-time love and care of parents? Looking at this picture makes me want to bring them all back home.

When I look at Kara now, I see a girl that is truly enjoying what her new life offers. No longer is there a frightened child who budgeted her food with little nibbles in order to prolong the enjoyment of such a simple activity: eating. No longer is there a girl who never felt the strong love and bond of parents who’d do anything and everything for her. Besides her growing English vocabulary, these first four months have offered Kara an opportunity to learn what it is like to be part of a family.

As Ali and I develop as parents, we are realizing how important it is to one day share with Kara the amazing story of how she entered our lives. She will know that we came together as a family based on our need for one another.

Some pictures of our daughter of 4 months:

With Time Comes Comfort, Independence, and Disobedience

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It’s been 2 months since we’ve returned to the U.S. with Kara. Whenever Ali and I think about how long we’ve been parents to this little girl, we always feel it is longer than it actually is. I think a lot of that is attributed to Kara adapting so well to her new life and parents. For the most part, she’s used to and actually enjoys her daily routine of waking up, brushing her teeth, getting dressed, going to school, coming home, eating dinner, taking a shower, brushing her teeth, having one of us read her a book, going to sleep, and waking up the next day to do it all over again.

However, lately, she’s acting up. The last week, we’re seeing her blatantly ignore what we tell her to do and doing the opposite. I remind myself that she’s “exercising her independence.” Still, we are having a little bit of a hard time with it and wonder where the sweet little girl that came into our lives 2 months ago has gone.

Here she is with her not so sweet face!

But there are still times when we just adore her!

I guess it’s all part of life. We have our good and bad days. It applies to just about everything: work, relationships, and parenting.

Ali and I have talked lately about failing at being good parents. I tell her it’s all nonsense and reiterate a quote I once heard that, “You only fail when you stop trying (and caring).”

Making Friends

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Slowly, Kara is starting to warm up to stuffed animals. This past Saturday, we visited Abby and her parents. Abby shared her little bug rocker. At first, Kara was apprehensive and did not want anything to do with it. But once Abby got on and showed her there was nothing to be afraid of, Kara took it for a long spin.

Abby’s parents made sure there were yummy treats (Trader Joe’s baby ice cream cones)! Obviously, both girls didn’t turn it down.

 

Someone’s No Longer Afraid of the Potty!

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It only took two days, but Kara is comfortable going on the potty. The only issue now is, sometimes she tells us she needs to go, but nothing comes out!

This weekend will mark an entire month back for us as a family. Both Ali and I could not possibly have imagined Kara would have adjusted so quickly and well. Truth be told, it’s not that hard when she’s adored by so many people. Still, we’re amazed everyday that she’s consistently in a happy mood.

Here she is with Grandma on Valentine’s Day.

Here she is with her new kicks, shirt, and “bah-woon!”

Here’s Kara with her new glove. Uncle Jeff and Auntie Phillisa bought it for her so she can start training for the Big Chihuahuas!

Here she is with her other grandma, enjoying a yummy Chinese dinner!

After dinner, we even went out for dessert! To be expected, someone was fascinated with the toys!

Personally, my favorite time is watching her sleep.

Tonight, Ali’s dad, stepmom, brother, and her brother’s girlfriend came over for dinner. After dinner, we had dessert. While enjoying cheesecake, we all gathered in the living room to watch video from our trip to China. It was the first time Ali and I watched the video and it brought back a lot of memories.

As Kara watched on, both Ali and I were wondering what she was thinking. She yelled ‘Kara’ each time she appeared on TV and became very quiet when she saw images of her orphanage and the initial ‘tense’ moments when she was handed to us.

Sensing Kara may possibly be sad that she is no longer at her orphanage, Ali’s dad placed Kara on his lap and rubbed her back. Both Ali and I were happy that he did that as we weren’t sure what her thoughts were at that very moment.

Watching Ali’s father comfort his granddaughter was special. I think we’ll always remember that moment.

 

Potty Training Blues

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After a cup of water during and after dinner, Kara seemed ready. In fact, she’s been following us into the bathroom and sitting on the potty on her own. The only problem is, nothing ever comes out. Until tonight!

Unable to hold her pee any longer, after hanging out in the bathroom for twenty minutes, she paced and tears rolled down her cheeks, As she looked at the potty, she shook her head from side to side and pleaded for us to put the diaper back on. Despite a jelly bean bribe, she was not going comply tonight.

Only, she had to. Not because we forced her, but because she couldn’t hold it in any longer. After a minute of whimpering and tears (which seems more like 5 minutes!), we gave her a jelly bean to reward her for trying and calm her down. By this time, she didn’t want the jelly bean. She only wanted off the potty.

As she got up, we hugged her and told her, “It’s okay. Don’t cry.” Out of the corner of my eye, I noticed that there was indeed some pee in her potty! I shouted, “Yay, Kara!,” but she was being consoled by a strawberry jelly bean and mom’s hugs.

Kara finally turned around and saw her accomplishment. We gave her a hug and told her, “Good job for pee pee in the potty.” And we promised her more jelly beans if she’d do it again.

She looked at us with those watery eyes and shook her head from side to side. In her own way, she was telling us, “No, never again!”

While writing this post, I can honestly say that both Ali and I wanted today to be a breakthrough. Instead, it was very much a battle. We know it’ll take a while. Some people on the web have said three to six months. We certainly hope that’s not the case with Kara.

Tomorrow, we’ll be back at it again. And I’m sure, the day after tomorrow as well. Hopefully, there will be less tears each time. But more importantly, I hope she’s not traumatized to the point that she refuses to sit on the potty.

I’m just glad that this is a milestone she (and we) only experiences once.